As a single dad, my free time comes in odd little pockets. A quiet Tuesday morning. A long lunch on my day off. A Saturday afternoon when the kids are at their mum's. So I stopped thinking about dates as big evenings out and started thinking about what would fit.
Here are the ideas that worked best, for me and for the people I met.
Coffee after drop off
The classic for a reason. It's short, it's daytime and there's a natural end when one of you needs to get on with the day. Pick an independent café rather than a busy chain so you can actually hear each other.
A walk with a destination
Walking side by side takes the pressure off constant eye contact, which is great if you're nervous. Choose a route with a reward at the end...a view, a pub garden or a good ice cream van.
Lunch rather than dinner
Lunch feels relaxed and costs less than dinner. It also fits neatly into a working day, so you don't need childcare at all.
Browse somewhere together
A market, a bookshop, a garden centre or a local museum gives you plenty to talk about. You learn a lot about someone from what catches their eye.
Try something a bit active
Crazy golf, a gentle bike ride or a round of bowling are fun, a little silly and good for breaking the ice. Keep it light...this isn't the time to prove how competitive you are.
A few tips that help
- Keep first dates to an hour or two. You can always meet again.
- Meet somewhere public and let a friend know where you are.
- Be upfront about your time. Saying "I've got to be at the school gates by three" is perfectly normal on Mums Date Dads.
- Split the bill or take turns. It keeps things easy and equal.
What matters most
The best first date isn't the fanciest. It's the one where you both relax enough to be yourselves. Choose something that suits your life right now, and let the conversation do the rest.
